was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
