No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
