I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
