he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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