hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
