I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
