I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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