We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
