More tranny stories later!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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