So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
