i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
