i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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