thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
