I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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