News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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