they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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