So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
