he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
