I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
