Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
