Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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