Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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