dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
