apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
