i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Farmville is her only friend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
