I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
