Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
