Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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