do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
