so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
