He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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