He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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