Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
