Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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