So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
