It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
