I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
