Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
