Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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