know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
