I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
nutella sex= disaster
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
