I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
