Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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