I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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