He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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