I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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