she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
