Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
