oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
