dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
