so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
