Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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