i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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