I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
