Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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